Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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