first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
