You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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