so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
