Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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