Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize