omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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