My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
