It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
