so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
