Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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