I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
