I wanna passion pit in your ass
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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