I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
