I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
