Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
