I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
