I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
