Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
