Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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