it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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