New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
