i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
