I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im six kinds of drunk right now
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
