Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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