I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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