): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
