did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
