Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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