It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
