Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
