My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
