You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
