I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
