What a fucking waste of an outfit
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize