My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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