At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
