yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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