evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
