I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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