remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
