That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's blow job season.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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