what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You're a waste of cheezeits
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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