oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
