They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
