check it out our google latitudes are spooning
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
