I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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