What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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