You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
