I wanna passion pit in your ass
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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