There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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