i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Randomize
