i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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