Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
