i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
