My friends, they love my intelligence
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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