They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize